The Diluted Deckade
by FanofSnicket
Summary: The bauldalaires are about to reach Briny Beach, Until they are separted again... By two different, Equally EVIL people!
1. Chapter 1

"Gakk

"Gakk!" Beatrice Snicket Screeched. She said something along the lines as, " Look at that land." Beatrice was still very young and arduous to understand. Arduous here means difficult and causing great labor. "Klaus, she's right!" Violet yelled, causing enormous pain to her brothers' ear. The Baudelaire's had just left a very strange Island and were heading back to a very familiar beach. All of the children in the boat took an oar, Violet had made while they passed some scraps in the water they were in. Beatrice obliviously could not do such a precise job, but she tried.

Sunny, who had recently developed a hobby for cooking, was already thinking of new recipes. Klaus was thinking of books he would want to read, but Violet was the only one who just wanted to get home.

Don't count your eggs, before they hatch, is a saying commonly used when some one thinks they are going to enjoy wonderful things but are miserably wrong. For example say a young girl was on her way to buy bubble gum with five dollars from her dad and she promised every one a piece. She would think every one would love her, but only to find out that she dropped the money in the drain. Then everyone hated her and never spoke to her again. She would be considered someone who counted her eggs before the hatched. I am sorry to report that this is exactly what the Baudelaire's did.

They never reached Briny Beach that day and Sunny was not able to cook and Klaus was not able to read. Instead they saw someone they never hoped to see again. They saw the man with no hair but a beard. They were surprised not to see the woman usually associated with him. They both have unusual descriptions and it is not rare to see a man with no beard but hair.

The man was staring at them from a far distance as they tried to make it on that dreadful beach. It seemed like that beach had always been in their lives. It all started that awful day, which I'm sure your aware with. For people these days love to hear tragic and sad stories. It is sickening that people love miserable tales that authors inflict on the innocent people.

"Violet, grab Beatrice!" Klaus yelled. Beatrice was falling off the edge of the boat. Violet didn't hear him, because she was thinking about a way to get them out of their quandary, which here means the situation. Beatrice fell into the water and floated away from them. Klaus jumped in to the water to save his adopted sister, but only endangered himself. He quickly caught up to her and grabbed her. They both were sucked down a hole in the water and landed in a dark dim room. Klaus had unfortunately hit the bottom of the floor and refused to walk for a few minutes. He was still holding the baby, but she was unconscious.

"Ha Ha ho ho fiddle dee do" They heard. Klaus was the only one to recognize the laugh. Beatrice was to young to understand the life of Klaus, so she did not realize it was Nero.


	2. A Cave, A person,A friend

Violet Bauldalaire look in despair as she saw her brother and adopted sister, sink down the water. "It was all my fault", Violet cried. "Don't feel bad", Sunny said sympathetically. Violet had no idea were her siblings went. She was upset and started to cry. Just when she thought it was over, they were sepparated. Crying really does nothing, but it does make you feel a little better afterward.

The oldest Bauldalaire dug her hand into her pocket to touch an old ribbon. It was the ribbon Kit Snicket gave her, Just days before she died. While Violet thought about something to build to find her brother, Sunny noticed a man I mentioned earlier, The man with no hair but a beard. "Vi, look", Sunny pointed to the tall tower where the man was. Violet looked in horror at the long rope hooked onto the boat. Before Violet could think, the boat dragged across the water, like a kite in a dark dismal sky.

Before you reach the rest of this dreadful story, I am telling you, actually I am begging you to not read this story, it will eventually bring tears.

Two of the Bauldalaire siblings were in a the clutches of a greater evil, than Count Olaf. Both of the children glided right into a pitch black cave. "Ha Ha Ha! I caught you!" Said a dark deep voice.

Violet patted the boat floor, looking for Sunny. I am sorry to report that Sunny was not there. "Violet!" Someone shreiked. "Hmmm, Hmmm!" The same voice mumbled. Violet knew what it was. The same thing had happenend to Justice Strauss, back at the Hotel. Violet thought it sunny, but was very mistaken.

Someone grabbed Violet, from Behind. She was dragged into a what looked like a jail cell. She was thrown to the floor by the aweful person. She landed on a little chunk of ...something.. "Ouch!!" something whispered. "Who's there!" Violet yelled. "No be scared, it's Sunny," "You land on my foot!"

"Sunny, it can't be you, I thought you were being held by that... man." Sunny looked really confused at Violets' statement, for she thought the noise was Violet. "Who was it then?" Violet asked quizically.

"It was Me", a voice whispered.

Violet a Sunny looked up at someone hold a candle. "No, It can't be" Violet said

"Yes, it is." Said the person,"Sunny you haven't changed a bit!"

"Fiona!" cried Sunny


	3. Forgiveness

Although Violet tried to celabrate the reunion, she would never be as good as friends then before. All Violet could tink about was, How dare she, break Klauses heart, Turn to the evil side, and RUIN my birthday! But most of all she was upset that, Fiona came back, as if nothing had ever happened.

At this moment of the story, I will tell you about a great distress that has happened to me. It relates to this story, but in my thought it is sadder. If you remember Beatrice, my love (for I can not forget her), said in exact quote, "I am sorry, dear Lemony, for we can not be, For Betrand Bauldalaire has taken my heart", and after she broke my heart, the next month she came by and talked to me about, "_How she was Pregnant_" and stuff. I of course did NOT believe that heart braking slug. (I am sorry, I shuld not talk about my love in a way like that) Shee said "What do you want me to name her?" still not believing this story, I said, "Name her Vile Ill Obviosley Linx Eagle Toe!", A day or two later I regreted everything! I felt aweful! I was ashamed! But 8 month later to find out that poor child was secretley named that. **V**ile **I**ll **O**bviosley **L**inx **E**agle **T**oe

Anyway the point of my dreaded mistake was, that PEOPLE DON'T UNDERSTAND HEART BRAKE! No wait the real reason was that sometimes people just come back without an apology and pretend like nothing ever happened.

"Violet whats wrong?" asked Fiona. "Nothing", Violet said rather rudley.

Although she was still mad, She forgave her and emeditley gave her a hug. They talked for a few minutes about how Fiona was captured and beaten by the evil people...

In all the ecxitement, no one noticed little Sunny escape through the bars.

She was lost and no one noticed until Fiona said, "where is Sunny?"


	4. The nerve

**Thank you, for reviewing!!**

**Ms.VioletB.Hollister- Thank you So much, for reviewing, I appreciate your encouraging reviews!!**

**Quixoticelixer- I have a question, where did you get such an interesting penname? Anyway, I thankyou alot, for reviewing this story!! I am making this chapter longer like you asked!**

**I caught**

Dear viewers,

I would like to give you another warning, about this story. This chapter is quite distressing and I would like to tell you wonderful stories about little elves and pretty ponies. But sadly I have commited myself to writing the distressing tales of the Bauldalaire orphans.

Klaus looked in horror at his old principal. "I caught them, I caught the Bauldalaires!" Nero began," I caught them all, now I can get their fortune, and make them pay for getting rid of the best gym teacher!", what Nero said was very confusing. He could not see in the dark light, but he assumed that he had caught them all. He needed the money because of his low paying job, as a principle. Last, but not least, he had mistaken Count Olaf for a wonderful teacher, he was very wrong indeed.

"Actually, you only have me and Beatrice!" Klaus said smugly. "You have Beatrice with you!" Nero said, " I haven't seen her since the end of Highschool!" Nero saying to make Klaus feel sad about his mother, and my love...

"No, Beatrice is only one years old!"

Nero looked fasely confused, making Klaus very angry. In my opinion Nero is the most dim-witted person to ever live. He knew Beatrice was dead! But he said it to be mean, which is not polite, obviousley.

_"Beatrice is only one years old" _Nero mocked. Klaus stayed silent, for fear of being more hurt.

"Ha, Ha, Darling!" a familiar voice called in the darkness. Klaus emediatley knew it was Esme Squalor, and shivered at the thought of her. Klaus was wondering what two evil villians were doing together in a dismal room.

"Well, since you are as stupid as an ape, then I will tell you what is going on" Esme pronounced proudley. What Esme said was entirely FALSE. Klaus was smarter than the average well-endgucated man. Ingnoring the rude comment, Klaus listened.

"After I broke up with that unfashinable_ Count,_ I met this wonderful man!" Esme told.

"yuck!" Beatrice schreched. Esme was startled by the young child and yelled," What was that! After all I thought you taught Sibby how to talk!" Esme still did not know about Kit Snickets child and obviosley was not well knowledged for not knowing _Sunny's_ name. "Her name is Beatrice!" Klaus yelled.

" You named her after your stupid mother." Esme said in a baby tone of voice.

Mocking someone is VERY rude. But if someone mocks your mother, you have my permission to smack them upside the head.

"Anyway, I see you and Isadora had a baby, good for you! I hear babies are Very _in._"

"She is my **adopted sister**! Klaus yelled feeling affended.

" To bad... you were almost as stylish as moi!" Esme said smugly. Esme stepped into a lighter part of the room and Klaus could see her chunky sandels that made her look three feet taller. Her hair was wrapped in a green turban and her maroon dress was way to short to be worn in public.

"yuck!" Beatrice cryed again.

"I will take them to their rooms, my queen" Nero said softley. Beatrice wanted to say "Yuck" again, but Klaus covered her mouth.

"Wait!!" Esme screamed, " Where is the older girl and Sibbi!"

"I... I couldn't get them." Nero said quitely.

" You Stupid Twit!" Esme shouted. She mumbled something like, "Mark Stewart proboly has them!"

Klaus knew that name, he heard his parents talking about him one day when he was young.

He was around seven years old and was on his way to the library. He stopped by the door to listen to his parents talk. He loved his parents voice and once in a while he liked to hear them talk to each other. " Mark Stewart used to be a great man." his mother said. " He also used to have a full head of hair!" his father joked. His mother gave a little chuckle and said," Now he has a beard andno hair!" Klaus's father look quickley changed when he said, " Now he hangs out with that women with hair but no hair." That was all Klaus heard that day, unfortunatley.

Klaus was deep in thought about Mark, for he now knew that he was evil man!

Klaus was still standing next to Nero before Esme stormed in. " He has that purple child and Sibbi!" Esme started, " He took them and he won't give them back!"

" The nerve of that man and his baldness!!" Nero shouted.


	5. a familiar friend

**Thanx for everyones reviews!!**

**You know in my previouse chapters talk about my awesome reviewers!! You rock!!**

**P.S. Sorry it took so long for me to wright this chapter!!**

**P.S.S. This really has nothing to do with the story, but I was on the news!! I am so proud!! My brother came home from Iraq and it showed me hugging him!! I feel special!! Sorry... on with the story!!**

Misery is a common word used in my very true stories about the Bauldalaires. It is a word which here means depressing. Drepressing is not a very enjoyable word and I warn you this story is very depressing.

Violet was looking around her little cell for Sunny. Fiona got down on the floor and started looking under the little cot. A sharp ping sound came from the cell door as it unlocked. Startled by the noise Fiona jumped up and her triangle glasses fell to the floor. Relieved that they didn't break Fiona sighed. A familiar face popped out of the door and a large boot smashed Fionas' oddly glasses.

Violet looked at the man and screamed, " Frank!!" Violet was thinking of the man she had met at the hotel where she once worked.

Fiona screamed after Violet saying, "No it's Dewey come to rescue us!" Fiona couln't see very well but she wanted to be included in the renuion.

Both children were sadly wrong.

Another sharp ping was heard and Violet quickley looked at the shadow of her baby sister, Sunny. Sound came from the key that Sunny had left to find, but it was not needed for the door was already unlocked.

Even though Violet and Fionas' assumptions were wrong Sunny's guess was right as she whispered, "Ernest"


	6. Tommarrow

**THANKS TO MY REVIEWERS!!**

Klaus was thinking about his parents when Esme screamed at the top of her lungs. He looked up to see Esme runing past him in horror as she yelled, "I'm out of style!!" several times. Klaus chuckled a little and Nero told him to shut up. This was a very rude thing to say and it discouraged Klaus quite a bit.

Five minutes later Esme ran in with her hair straight up. She was wearing bright orange overalls and a silk shirt with roses on under the overalls. her shoes were were pink and had pictures of peace signs on them.

"Take them to their rooms!!" Esme screached. Nero grasped Klause's wrist digging his nails dreadfuly deep and Klaus held Beatrice's hand.

Tommarrow will be another day is a common phrase used when people are having bad days and believe the next day will be better. This never happens to the Bauldalaires and proboly never will. For this story is entirely true and that is NOT the truth.

Nero pushed the orphans in the small room. The walls were made of concrete and the floors were dirt. There was othing in the room exept for a small device he had used before. The device he could use to contact Violet. The telegraph machine. Nero had left quikley with a smirk on his face.

Klaus picked up the device with a smile until he read the note on the bottom.

It was from Esme _It is in to trick orphans!_

"tacocnt!" Beatrice said. She meant ,"We can contact Violet!"

"No" Klaus whispered.

Beatrice had made the situation worse, but she was to young to understand.

Klaus looked in dismay as he walked to a corner and sat down.

"tommarrow will be another day" Beatrice said sympathetically.

Beatrice sadly was very very wrong.


End file.
